How witnessing domestic violence can impact children over lifetime

FRESNO, Calif. (KFSN) -- A series of local crimes have left behind children who are forever scarred by domestic violence.

In January, 62-year-old Shirla Ramirez was found dead in her home.

The suspect was identified as her son, 35-year-old Brad Ramirez.

Almost exactly a month later, 41-year-old Angel Hoban was found stabbed to death in her home.

Police say her 12-year-old son made the gruesome discovery.

Hoban's 40-year-old boyfriend, Michael Gonzalez, was arrested for her death.

Fresno County has the highest per capita calls to law enforcement for domestic violence compared to any other county across the state.

Psychologist Dr. Susan Napolitano says even if children aren't the direct victims of domestic violence, they can still suffer consequences from witnessing the abuse or the effects of abuse.

"If you live in a home where somebody can erupt into violence at any moment, and a loved one could be hurt or killed at any moment, that affects your nervous system," said Dr. Napolitano.

"A child in a home like that, they don't leave the home and then calm down. Their nervous system is looking for threats all day long."

She says those children can struggle in school, the abuse can affect their relationships and their ability to regulate emotions.

They may perpetuate the violent cycle.

"You often try to cope with hanging out with associates that aren't good news, or you use drugs, or you have unstable relationships, and then you have children," explained Dr. Napolitano.

"Then, you expose those children to that instability, and it goes on and on and on."

Dr. Napolitano says educating victims and the community on domestic violence and where to seek help are crucial in stopping the cycle.

Places such as the Marjaree Mason Center.

"Providing kids the tools that they need to not only grow but to heal and learn healthy behaviors," said Ashlee Wolf with the Marjaree Mason Center.

"If you've never been exposed to a healthy relationship as a child, how would you know what unhealthy behaviors are as an adult?"

If you are the victim of domestic abuse, or you know someone who is, there is help available 24/7. In Fresno County, call the Marjaree Mason Center at (559) 233-4357. In all other locations, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233.

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